This was Once upon a time

I am sitting here crying

for a fault that ain't mine

I'd much rather be looking down from a cliff

slowly dying

I pause to remember, looking at you through a hole in the glass

your face so brightly lit

the painted smiles

the loving juveniles

I can hear the glasses clink

the necklines dropping

the skirts rising

the smiles turning into grins

the wishes escalating

I don't think anyone there knows

that you are only pretending

that behind the warm welcome

you are only loathing

I can see you trying hard

to tell me to leave, to wish me away,

to ask me to stop crying, trying, loving..

now I say, I give you up to the world

that aches for a piece of you

I will give it all I have

to see you through

you say you want freedom

from the clutches of glum

I put it on the table for you

Gave you my share of happiness too

but don't you see you are all that I have

why do you want that too?

Talk to her...

So you and your woman are in sync now and now is the time to go beyond the physical appeal. now is the time to get her know her as a person. to do that, you need to know her language. its not confined within the world of alphabets. she speaks the language of Solfege. Start by the rules and as you master it, let go and play along with her.

The notes can be dramatized to bring about maximum effect and you might just be able to make music if she likes the way you speak to her .... Godspeed! - Lesson 2

Give unto thee - for the love of someone who is a part of me ...

I have always loved musical instruments and wondered at how science and math can touch us deep down even with all its technicality intact.

let me admit, that i have tried some musical instruments and none of them call to me and likewise. Violin was never on my mind, not for any particular reason, however, by some strange co incidence or signal i knew that , i was meant to learn just her - my violin.

Lesson 1 : unlike vocal artists, the ones who pursue musical instruments have to first learn to give their body to the instrument. the journey to the soul is an advanced stage. take any instrument: the flute, the drums, the guitar and the violin - your body has to get used to it - the posture, the co ordination, the strain... as far as the violin is concerned.. its takes time to give in...

once you get those basics right, usually on the same day, you learn the GDae [the chords/strings - don't know the difference yet, if there is one]. you learn how the bow glides, the arch, the straight line, the equilibrium, the pressure points... you learn how to caress it and you have to learn to know them well otherwise, she will never give in.. some woman she is !

you should take an entire week to know your woman at this stage. know which part of her body is called what, how she likes to be touched... small talk everyday for about fifteen twenty minutes and as you profess your love to her, she will profess hers...

Until next week..

Call

A sudden incident to someone very close woke me up today.

Call: Change. Adapt. Learn. Live.

Change: Nothing is permanent and nothing will ever be. We gain some, we lose a lot, and sometimes it is the other way round. Sometimes we change and sometimes it is the things around us. Sometimes we like the change and sometimes we do not. I don’t know how spiritual or religious the reader is, but any kind of change – [if it is sudden all the more so] is a sign that God or a higher power has chosen to take the reigns of our life in their hands for that one moment, and asked us to move on to the next level.

Adapt: Courtesy – Ayan Da. “When Van Gogh first started out, his ten years of work got burnt. Van Gogh is still Van Gogh.”

Courtesy – Me. “You can never accelerate if you keep looking into the rear view mirror.”

Move on. There is no stopping to what has happened. The future will wait at your door only for a while and after a point that too, will get tired and move on. Yes! “Future” too, will Adapt. The quicker your recovery, the quicker the turnaround will be.

Despite all this, there is always something that “change” and “adapt” will leave behind. It is this:

Learn: Learn from your past. That is the only purpose memory has. It knows what to sift. It retains what you need.

Do you remember how ugly you looked when you got your pimples? Do you remember how bad your first menstrual was? Do you remember the silly joke that offended you? Do you remember if you started walking with your right foot out or left? I am presuming that your answer is “NO!”

The point is-your brains know what information you will need from yesterday for tomorrow. Learn from it. If you stress out your mind to remember inconsequential things then one day, that is all that your memory will have for you. Do the opposite and learn to …

Live: Live for the moment. Live for the day. Live for the second. Live for the people.

Don’t live to re live your past. Life is too short. Live for tomorrow. Expect something new. Appreciate what changed, adapt to what did not, learn from the errors and the triumphs, and know that live will never be the same again. Live a little!

No Touch no scratch ;)

if i am what you think i am 

and if it makes you glad 

then i am what you think i am 

but if it makes you sad 

then i could be what u think i am 

and maybe a lil less

maybe the good is less and the bad in excess

if you think my name is bitch 

or the girl with evil eyes

then 'bitch' is good enough 

and the evil eyes watches while u lie

if you think i am an angel to the core 

or the poor lil thing washed ashore 

then my wings and halo are for you to see

and may my charms make you forget abt me 

of if you think i am just another one 

no great shakes or ain't no fun 

then i shall quietly exit through the doors

and look apologetic when YOU ARE, on all fours

then you'll wonder who 

then who'll wonder why 

then you'll try to fix

and then you get it jinxed

and then you'll come and ask 

or maybe follow me around 

maybe u'll even write a song 

and tell me "oh!cmon"

and just when you give up 

I'll light my halo bright 

bring the devil in my eyes

flash my simple smile 

caress your skin 

help you breathe in 

and whisper in your ears 

that to figure out a woman 

takes a lot of time and a lot of worth ...

What will it take for our country to wake up .. to wake up to terror to wake up to honesty ??.. most importantly to wake up to its poeple?
How many Kandahars and how many Oberoi's do we have to endure for our country to learn its lesson of division, indecision and inefficiency?
How many more politicians will thrive on our national economy to ensure that they can have a plush green backyard?
How many more civilians/army men will have to lay their lives for a Godhra or Jamma Masjid?
For how many more centuries should the people of India live in pseudo intelligence only to realise that it's only a big national joke?

Our India today has no vision , no goals , no charecter. In the name of it's so called spirit it's raped and murdered everyday - sometimes in factions within itself and sometime by some other country. They come , they destroy and oh yes they die .. but indefatigably yet another troop comes - they come, they destroy and not just they ..we too die.. sometimes in spirit and sometimes in body.
Our India today is busy with fighting for lack of causes and fails to deal with real causes. Our India today is busy banning ciggarettes in movies but fails to douse the fire from bomblasts.
It tries to set standards of "Only Marathi's.." in Mumbai.. why dosen't it say only Indians in true spirit??? Because there is no more an Indian within us..its only a Bengali, a South Indian or an etc etc etc.

What happened to the precedents we used to set ? What happened to our lofty ideals of heroism .. Seems this time it wasnt just the Trident or the Nariman House or the Oberoi .. seems like this time it was the spirit of India that was hostage. It still seems like we are too busy surviving then living.

We still have the newschannels waxing eloquent about the last 56 hours.. what are we doing as citizens of India to revive from the last 56 hours. Oh well.. here in India we have and continue to live in the past .. so we shall!!

about losing : it helps me to realise that if i am still alive without it then maybe it isn't so much of a loss after all.
About winning : It balances the losses so perfectly ... I remember to realise that i am alive just the same.
about quitting : it makes me want to pursue the same thing with new zeal and new spirit.
about hope : it makes me live.
about God: it makes me want to wonder....
about traffic : it makes me think about consequences.
about death : it makes me think about 'what now...'
about children : it makes me believe that miracles do happen..
about music : it makes me imagine how magic is created.
about alchohol : it makes me think of the cute bartender who just knew what i needed.
about dogs : they just make me go awwww
about work : it makes me think of my passion.
about sex : it makes me think of love.
about love : it makes me think of me.
about me : Olivia! Yours truly.