Make your passion the only thing you have ..dont ask why now, and you wont have to ask why later.

Another Day in the life of Amelia..

My current pair is bulbous at the hips - read: extremely lose, torn at the non-sexy spots, and unflatteringly rolled up at the ankles. i wear that with my shoes which are the not-so-bad gladiators but the ugly overtakes the not-so-bad at making first impressions.

so, in a desperate attempt to get myself a new pair, i went jeans shopping. Now, that may be the most obvious effort for most of , and i bet a pleasurable one too, For me; it is that one event which repeats itself once every three years. You can safely estimate that a decade of styles emerge, hit it or miss it, during three years of time, and i, locked up in isolation are always detained from whats in and whats out - except that, it sounded like it it's me..

WHY, well for starters, i couldnt be bothered about stocking up my wardrobe... when i need stuff, i go out and buy that. sometimes, i procrastinate that 'need' but how would a fashion sense emerge if people did not look at current assets differently. thats how i explore my sense of [ahem, lack of] style.

so enter the "Jean Queen," in the market of battling eyelashes, suspicious changing rooms tucked away behind the shelves, and eager to haggle shopkeepers.
i coyly ask the decent looking uncrowded corner shop for "Jeans."

Yes ma'am, all variety we have." - is the friendly response.

i smile, and a stack of jeans starts to dangle around me making a noisy silence filled withcries of, "pick me,pick me."

i choose one that corresponds to my thin being and head staright to the chaging room - this one is without a latch, a slight peep toe in between the lock and the door and a mirror covered in a veil.

i protest meekly, hoping it is far from meek to the receiver. the friendly tone assures me that, "i am SAFE inside." got to belive in the intrinsic goodness of man sometimes!

pulls and tugs later i see that, the muitude of jeans is a fatter cousin of my chilhood slacks that my mum used to get for us, so indulgantly - like it was a style icon and i was always less than excited about those things!

so my next question is, [clears throat] "they all are slim fits, but would you happen to have any straight fits?" those good old neutral looking jeans that fit straight - work well and complements words such as classics and comfortable.

These spell petite, glam doll, lets see who's got a better bod. These may be just as nice, but its not me.

The friendly tone, makesa mild mockery of my question and says,"well, thats all we have nowadays." The last word stayed with me and i assured him that i will vsit him again after a short round of the market."

in my round - i bought a lady gaga sorta shirt. it has puffy stuff on one part of the sleeve after the arm. changes the silhoutte kind of thing, and i liked it. realising that a straight fit jeans is proving to be a never ending shirt i checked my odds in the other supermarket and realised that i am planning more energy into the activity than the initial objective.

i passively, bought a pair of canvas, to de-glam the pipe thin jeans and came back home afer fulfilling my commitent to the polite man at the store.

24 hours laster, i am unhappy about a particular area fit but i am already planning other shirts to go with the jeans that will act as detractor from the clingy new friends.

48 hours later, i am deeply unhappy about the fit and regret my decision have bought THAT jean but i am quite happy with the 5 other sets i have planned in my head. i am warming up to clingy, i need to make my little jean life perfect - is an instant realization.

i go back to the polite shopkeeper and ask for an exchange and i discover that the new fit is incredible. That night it feels like i hoisted the flag on a successfull shopping expedition - a point of triumph and strife, for my fiance during an argument.

the next day at work,

"what made you buy purple and why would you team that with Olive green?"- asked my best friend?

"umm, its actually the under side of a regular jeans, that's how it looks. i dont think its so bad but hey what happened to that project."

i have been able to save myself from further embarressment but my heart knows that 48 or 72 hours, i might just pay another vist to the polite shopkeeper.

A note to save - for my comrades :)

Hi friends,

me thought of a simple idea for those who wat to start saving some dough.. but can never end up doing it, just like me.

my research tells me that about 30% of my income goes into forgettable stuff such as paying the rickguy a little extra something, buying small sweets, a bottle of water, an adhoc taxi ride to an immensely small distance [because i am wearing a certain kind of tabooed short skirt typa thing/maybe a sari or a gown too :)..] etc etc etc.

and the tendency to spend on these small unneccessary things increases because we like the thin shafts of paper tucked in our purses and pockets. how covienient they are.. those sheets of notes.. so neatly tucked away. some like it rough...the wrinkles on an ageing fifty rupee note.. the crisp shine of a hundred...the warmth of them from an atm machine..freshly baked! :)
i personally love the arrogance of a five hundred note. it's picky about its takers!..hmm

ok now back to the idea! the idea is to shift to its metal sister - the coins! the clinky clanky noisy exuberant stoical metal coins. why?!?
because it can revolve like the earth does and much faster too!..am kidding!
because they have disadvantages. they are heavy and they are too many. a seven hundred bucks stuffed in your pockets..no problem!
but imagine the bulk of seven-hundred-coins-in-your-pocket..make them one rupee coins , okay fine two rupee coins..

yeah you get the picture right? point is, greater the bulk, the less likely you are to carry it around. lesser you have, lesser you spend. it does take the mind some training though but so does most things in life.. such as education, job, marriage etc.. it pays :)

keep the crispies in the atm and let your card [DEBIT] do the talking, if it must at all.

p.s i haven't copywrited this idea and that DOES NOT mean that you can..

now, you may go ahead and make me popular nevertheless! adieu.

Shall we shop?

i reached for the shaving razor in the shower - i was not one for painful and long waxing sessions at the parlor; Damn! i had thrown it away last night because that was the only way i'd be forced to buy another one, and i had not bought a new one!

i didn't want to lose sleep over it so i let it pass. i tried to think that, today was a Saturday - time to kiss away my sexy and fitted formals and say hi to my sexy and fitted casuals. Unfortunately, they all showed my "needs to be waxed" common areas. I patted myself on my back at the outfit i chose in my head - Jeans, fitted jacket, gladiator chappals. This was quite unlike my weekend clothing. My boyfriend will surely notice the change and we'll have a good laugh about my quirks.

but that was replaced by another thought immediately after. a year back, this is how i'd dress on Saturdays. i'd mix and match things my formals and semi formals to create a funky look. now i actually buy clothes especially for the weekends. not even evening and ornate garments but plain weekend ones. why have i become this way after i met my boyfriend?

is it because i now have an occasion and a platform to indulge in my otherwise good fashion sense? that's plausible because i wouldn't consider it otherwise. or is it because i want to look ever pretty to the man who once said the most beautiful things about me to me. i must admit thought that those days have been reduced to mere fragments of my memories. these days, he probably looks at me when the inevitable need for it arises. does that propel me to be ever prepared to look good for the moment when the inevitable need might transform into a lingering new memory for the days that follow?

i shall let the thought be; without drawing any conclusions. while that oscillates somewhere deep within, i turn to the fact that i love the way i look and then i look at who i love. and i love what i see :)

Shower thought!

creativity is not about weirdness or the licence to bewilder in the name of awe and inspiration. But then again, creativity is personal and individualistic too.

Which brings me to the thought that we have come to an age now where everyone is not just aware and educated but innovative too. thus, words like beauty, creativity, ugly, virtues, vices, can be and should be abolished from the dictionary. Their meanings don't hold true or never did, and on second thoughts...who is anyone to define perspectives to me~

Eureka!

You know Boyfriend, someone asked me today if I wanted to make love to them one time, one last time, for old times sake, for all his worries and you know what I said..

What you ask isn’t mine to give..it’s someone’s faith in me.

And I have never seen anyone so defenseless..

So tell me, does the body win or the spirit? Does the orgasm win or peace? does the flesh win or the soul?

i think it is neither. Love wins..the kind we have ...

Did you win?

there is nothing wrong in being in the rat race. the more ahead you go, the more you get alone and the more you get alone, you realise that the race was against you and you won!

so race at a pace that you dont have to be alone for the most part. take your time, listen to those who care about you, learn to respect elders, understand the rules, break some of them sometimes and make friends you can have fun with while you mend those errors, make some more friends who live by the rules, make memories, collect stories, borrow knowledge, get and give all the love you can,... so that when you get ahead...you arent alone..